Dear bloggy...

Today I've read about a lady who was 30 years old... She passed away because of CA breast.. Her wish was to get her degree before she dies... The article wrote she slept at 9pm and wake up at 1am to study all the way to 4am and yea.. she did not sleep after tt.. Her determination to pass her degree is damn strong.. She is willing to sacrifice everything just to get wat she wants...
Even though she knew she's gonna die... She still want to pass.. wants her degree....

A person, who knows that she is dying... working hard.. Till her last breathe to get what she wanna achieve in life... Imagine that...

Ppl who have no such disease.. no such illness... take things for granted...ppl like me... Keep on thinking bout giving up... Thinking that it is the end...

She is an inspiration to me... N pretty much to all who is still hanging in there... Even though struggling... But trying their best...Just hold on a little longer... Success will be ahead of us... Insyallah...


Dear bloggy...

Being a nurse is such a burden... Not just my lecturers or other nurses expect u to know everything.. but also ur family members a...but i dun blame them.. I felt honoured actually... like wen my mum have some queries on certain drugs.. she will ask me... and she will ask me certain diagnosis.. Like wad issit about and stuff.( some obviously i cant answer)... but thanks to her.. i get a chance to research bout it and stuff... I thank god.. He had made me this way.... Being a nurse is a curse...But it can be a blessing also... At least I can help ppl... Im happy the way i am... I know my journey as a nurse is not a bed of roses... There is tym wen i feel like giving up... But wat i can do now is just do my best.. do wat i can do....

My greatest weakness of all is helping ppl no matter hu the hell they are.... Whether they are gd or bad... Whether they r gonna appreciate it or not... But I cant help it... I am the way I am... Putting a smile in a person's face wen she is down... Making a person's day after having a miserable one... Coz their smiles are my happiness...Seeing my love ones smile each day makes me stronger...

Anyways... update about my love life... which is like so pathetic.... I dunnoe maybe he is just a waste of tym... I want someone hu will catch my tears wen i cry.. well tt sorta shit..get wat i mean.. N he aint the one.. Look at him now.. yesterday i was freaking pissed with him then now he is online and dun even wanna talk to me.. haha... mcm aku yg nk gi balek ngan dier in the first place..... padehal... padehal... May he be struck by lightning and burn to death... fucking hate him... -_______________-


I use to believe that everyone can change... It is just a matter of time.. and also by giving them support.. they sure can change...

But i dunnoe right now.. im lost... I just felt so heavy in the heart...

Why must he keep on doing this to himself and his family?

Even if he have problems... It cannot be solved this way

I dunnoe what to do... I feel so helpless....

Everytime he go out frm tt place... He said that he has changed..

Well, its true... he'd changed.. but only for a while...

He do not know tt wadever he is doing right now is hurting tt someone i love the most...

All this while... she prays tt he will change and be someone responsible...

But look at him now.. still the same...

Still washing off his probs with those stuff...

Wad the hell is in his mind....

Everyone has problems... have bigger problems than him...

Why he have to do this?


4:55 am... n im awake...

well.. Am doing drug research now.. but just taking a break.. cause the drugs are so alien to me.. and my brain is being a bitch... MEMORISE IT BITCH! lol... haiz...

Well today im in the PM shift... Sucks.. why cant I have DO like 2 days straight.. lame sia my schedule...

I hope my bday falls on a DO... if im werking... then i will be sooooo sad :(

Nursing is a bitch..LOL

-________________-


Dear bloggy... Its 4:00 .... im still awake....

I have to reach TTSH at 8am..today is the orientation for PRCP till 4pm..
Finally... this day has come... i hope i can graduate after this... This is what I have been waiting for.... Meeting Lucy later at around 5am... so yea.. aint gonna sleep... gonna stay awake for a long while.... No worries... I am super!! I can do it.. :) i will survive today... This anxiety in me.. makes me feel restless... LOL... Just feel like busting out frm this hse now.... He he.... Aites.. wish me luck..

chiaox.....


Dear bloggy,

It is 03:10 am and I am still awake... U can say I am semi concious.. but I just cant make myself sleep... Once I off my laptop.. N my eyes will be wide awake... So yea I decided to write something in this blog...

Yesterday I got to know where I am going to be posted to for PRCP... I get into a Geron ward again... I got my first choice... GERONTOLOGY... hehes... Im not sure why but I was freaking happy XD... I hope the environment and routine is similar to my previous ward 7A...

Ready or not ready... The time wont stop for me... I have to go through this and try my best...Jia You to the others... We shall pass together..insyallah :)

3 more days of hols.... and stress stress stress here I come...

hehes...

Can I ask you something...
Issit a must to love someone who loves you?
I dunnoe what am I feeling right now... Pity or Love or just Playing around....
I used to think... It's best for me... to stay away frm him...
I don't even know whether he really loves me or not...
Even if he loves me... Love fades right... Especially if you love someone like me...
Sometimes......
I really wish.. that he could just go away and forget about me...
But I know...I will be sad by his absence...
I know getting rid of him is not the best solution...

It is my fault to let him into my life back...
Time cant be turned back right?
& it is definitely wrong to play with ppls' heart..

I dunnoe why... I just cant be satisfied...
Im always not contented...
I have someone who have been loving me for so long no matter wat...
But I still doubt his feelings...

He is different...
He is not like 'him' ( name shud never be mentioned ever ever)..
But.... I still feel.....
I deserve better... :p

wadever... Enuf of my sick bloody hell feelings.. Screw his feelings towards me..
Love will not last forever... it FADES sooner or later... N i cant hold on to him or anyone..
I have to be independant....No matter wad...I cant rely my life on a man...

But.. no matter which angle I see in this so called relationship... It will never be perfect...

Like my life ever gonna be perfect...


Dear bloggy...

I am feeling damn tired today... Hmm... and sleepy too... but I have to study later... -____-.. its been 6 days I have not studied... So yea... Gotta read up a lot today... I know its sounds boring.. but I guess... Tts the only thing that I feel like doing when I am stuck at home... Pretty much am tired of looking at the com screen.. Thanks to Fidah for lending me her drug guide so I no need to go to mims.. :) May god bless ya babe.. hehes...

Hmm..

Wads up with ex boyfrens and their habit of calling back their Ex GF after a long time of disappearance... LOL... Gawd... JUst leave me the fuck alone... Haiz... Some ppl just dun understand the meaning of ITS OVER!! DONT TALK TO ME ANYMORE IHATE YOU!.... Must I speak in other language?

Guys.. pfft... just like seasons... they come and go as and when they like.... Not worth my time...

Love is a pleasant feeling? Fucking bullshit... It's a pleasant feeling till u get hurt.. XDXD

Hey wassup with me? hmm.. probably feeling grumpy...

~ La la la la la la~

-Peace out-


Dear bloggy..

I wanna say FINALLY HOME SWEET HOME.. have been away frm the hse way tooo long already...

Ucu's wedding was a joyful success... Finally, she gt married and end her single life... hmm... But I totally hate wen ppl say it is going to be my turn next -_____- Marriage is not something i wanna go thru ever in my life.... Coz there will be soo much responsibilities and so much problems... Marriage is not like a bed of roses... It is pretty much like a ship and it's crew..U need to have a very good captain and a good team of crews in order to sail that ship... If not.. You will easily crashed down by a storm or any other obstacles the sea has..... It is not easy as it looks... Nevertheless... wedding is pretty much an exciting experience... Gosh.... my aunt was very gorgeous yesterday... Like a hot freak,,, N im glad i didnt screw up yesterday... was the freaking bride's maid... Haiz.. but kinda sad though coz Shiqin cant be there.. She gt a dance competition.. We are suppose to wear the cute dresses my aunt bought for us yesterday... n I was wearing it alone... -___- sad... But yea... ppl keep commenting on how small i was beside my brother... I hate those kinda comments... cant ppl ever fucking shut up!!! It's not that I want to be like this.... I dunnoe why I am getting smaller ok!! so fuck you!!! N wats wrong about being short? Issit a sin or sumthin... Stp it sak all ths ppl....LOL wat am i saying... ppl cant really shut up cant they.. Ppl will always keep on commenting wadever they feel like... Without thinking of other ppls' feeling.... Well fuck them anyways,,, I had fun,,, the hotel was damn nice... Feels like a holiday... at some other country.... Haiz... When can I have a real holiday? Hopefully after PRCP... :)

Aites... tts all... PEACE OUT MFs!!


Dear blogggy...

This is what I have been doing the whole day... Studying... LOL.. It seems that studying will never end.. Like for example, I wanna find out bout this stuff... but later I have to find out about something else that is related to the initial stuff tt I am suppose to learn about.. Its pretty much interlink... but... I enjoyed today... I am happy coz I get to do wat i wanna do today coz im a big fuck of a procrastinator...hehes... It is like an achievement to me... But yea... more studying means more snacking... pffttt gotta watch my diet.... I always wanna go for a day of starvation... but in the end.. the more i think of starvation the more i feel like eating.... haha.... maybe i shud think of being full all the time... Meh... me fat... me skinny... who fucking give an ass rat anyways.. hehes... it is fun to be single ... ~weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee





Watched 2012 with Lucy and Niz today... I hate it.... It suck... waste of money... waste of tym.. end of story -______________-

Hey yo! My name is SHIDA
Im 18 goin on 19
Currently still schooling in NYP
Moody,Playful,Blurr,Annoying..is meh.. :p


Graduation ASAP
Not to be a burden to anyone
Totally independant by the age of 20
To be someone helpful in the society
To be a skillfull and knowlegeable person

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